Monday, November 19, 2007

[Original]: Review of Saawariya

It is now too late to save many people (including myself), but here's my review of Saawariya.

1. The title should have been SaBOREiya.

The movie is amazingly boring. At no point of time did I feel interested in what was going on.
The predominant thought that I during the movie had was regarding the money we wasted on tickets.

2. The main characters are a demented couple.
Neither of them has much logic to offer. Now love is beyond logic and all that, but still one is supposed to have some logic at all times.
Ranbir Kapoor has a "boxing your way out of grief" theory. Sonam Kapoor breaks into demented laughter from time to time. She has fallen in love with Salman – absolutely no reason given other than the fact that he stayed at her home. Instant coffee, and now Instant Love!! Show up at a girl’s doorstep during rain, grimace and stare at her, and win her heart!!

Both of the actors (Ranbir and Sonam) seem to be decent in acting. But the script and the dialogues that are given to them are so pathetic that they can't do anything. If both of these folks want to make a mark in the Indian Film Industry, I suggest they stay as far away from Sanjay Leela Bhansali as possible.

3. The side characters try to save the movie, but fail.
Zohra Sehgal (good as always) and even Rani Mukherjee have their good moments and provide some relief.
But since they are not the main characters of the film, they can't do much. What could anyone do about this turkey?

Salman Khan has a tiny role where he shows a grim face (perhaps because he guessed the fate of the movie during shooting itself), and says some weird dialogues like "Main mulk ka (secret) kaam karta hoon". Since the entire movie set is a fantasy land, I guess his country and work are also equally imaginary.

4. The sets, lighting and casting are weird/pathetic/psycho.
The whole set is pale blue. The women (a city of at least 60% prostitutes) wear various shades of blue. I think they got a group discount on blue clothing.

Almost all shots are at night in dim lighting. By the time the movie finishes, your mood has turned blue also.

The fantasy city is partly Venice, partly old city look and wholly weird.

The streets have designer potholes where Sonam and Ranbir can jump stylishly and then do "grief boxing".

There are approximately 7 males in the entire city, counting Ranbir and Salman (who is a visitor anyway).

Rain pours like a tap and shuts like a tap being closed, hence proving that it was filmy rain coming out of a tap anyway.

5. Sanjay Leela Bhansali thoroughly disappoints.
You find it hard to believe that this is the man who gave us a great movie like Black, and a very nice love story like Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam.

I think throughout the shooting of the film, he was stoned/drugged. Which is the only reason that one can think of regarding the final output.
This would also explain the sets, lighting and casting.

P.S. The story of the movie is:
Ranbir meets Sonam and falls in love with her. But Sonam is waiting for Salman. Who will get the girl in the end?

Answer: Well before the movie ends, the public says "Either Salman or Ranbir can get Sonam, we don't mind - but please end this movie (and our suffering) quickly!!

More P.S.:
Somebody should have boxed Sanjay Leela Bhansali's ears (and other body parts) for making this movie. There is no way you can "grief box" your way out of this one.


Nilu said...

Very apt review. I apologize for making you watch the movie :-(

The songs are good, though too many.

Anonymous said...

Very nice review :).... very well written ....

Anonymous said...

I agree with your views. Saawariya has a blue hue and it ends up making the viewer feel blue. What a sic way to spend the diwali weekend!!