[Original]: Article on Himesh Reshammiya

An original article written by yours truly (Amit Shirodkar).

Himesh Reshammiya

TanaHAIyaa!! TanaHAIyaa!! TanaHAIyaa …

These sounds from a passing car assault my ears.. I escape to a coffee shop. “O O OOOO --- Tera mera tera SurOOOOOrr!! OOOOOOOO…” is what they are playing proudly. I go home. Switch on the radio. “Naam hai tera tera – Naam hai TERA TERA!!”. Radio off. TV on. “Jhalak dikhlaja!! Ek baar aa ja aa ja aa ja AAAA JAAA!!”

There is no escape!! He’s everywhere!!

Thoughts swirl in my mind. Is there any place where “Himesh bhai” is not present? Apparently not. A TV set shows him, with the ubiquitous cap perched firmly on his head, his face snarled as if he just drank some castor oil, crooning away. Why does this guy never smile, anyway? I ask a friend (he is a fan of ‘The Cap’ ). “Because his brother died when he was just 11”, replies my buddy. Really? Has Himesh been this obnoxious for so many years now? His parents deserve a gold medal for patience then!! I would recommend them for a medal of valor - a Veer Chakra at least.

A Google search for "Himesh Reshammiya" results in 413,000 hits. Half a million!! Has the whole world gone stark raving mad? "Mohammed Rafi" returns 140,000. Where is the justice? People prefer songs sung by a guy who seems as if he has no mouth and instead has directly connected his vocal chords to his nostrils to those sung by the one and only Rafi?

It all started off so well. Himesh bhai was just giving music – and good music, may I add. The movie was “Pyaar Kiya To Darna Kya”. Nice melodious songs. Pleasing to the ear. Many movies followed. Tere Naam was one such gem. It seemed as if ‘The Cap’ would give many hits. I was happy back then.

And then it happened. “Aashiq Banaya Aapne” was the movie. The title song was sung by Himesh Bhai. At first I said, let’s ignore the nasal sounds – it’s just a one-time thing. It will soon pass …

But no. This was just the calm before the storm. Before you knew it, ‘The Cap’ had gone off and blasted more songs that you could count. And best (or worst) of all – people were loving it!! They could not get enough of him. Hit after hit after hit followed.

As if the sounds were not enough, the eyes were being assaulted too. Cap-filled videos were sprouting all over the place like weeds. And just like weeds, they were very hard to get rid of. (They still exist). So now 2 out of my 5 senses were under a barrage of crappy (I mean cappy) songs.

Just when you thought that the end had come, came another chapter. Himesh bhai acted in a movie.The promos made you feel as if for once, the villain should win!! But alas, that never happens. And so AKS (Aap Ka Suroor) was about to be released. I thought that it would be a flop and so at least this avenue would end in a whimper. Things would go back to normal.

Wrong. Dead wrong. The movie is a hit!! People love him even in this avatar!! Looks like I am one of the few sane ones left on this planet. Stop this world, people, and let me get off!!

I suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Thus spake Hamlet, and exactly that is what I feel. What is to be done? What can be done???

Radio on.

TanaHAIyaa!!

I will not react.

TanaHAIyaa!!

I will not respond.

TanaHAIyaa …

Breaking news – there will be a sequel to Aap Ka Suroor.

Billions of blue blistering barnacles!!! Tana%@#$ HAI !#@ yaa %^$% !!!